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OP1: My deepest fear and greatest hope

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Post  Jongwoo Wed Mar 19 2008, 18:28

"The most terrible poverty is loneliness, and the feeling of being unloved." said Mother Theresa of Calcutta, and this poverty of being left alone is what I fear most. While it is my deepest fear at this point, ironically enough I used to yearn for it in my earlier days. I did not appreciate the presence and attention of the people around me. Rather, I considered them as obstacles and prayed to be all by myself and enjoy my life the way I want it to be. After all, my prayer has been listened to. It so happened that I lost the people who were close to me one after another. Now, the only sibling that I am left with is my dad, and even worse, I cannot get to see him often because of my studies here. The worst and the most dreadful thing that can possibly happen to me would be to lose him.

With such fear residing deep inside me, I am hoping that oneday I will establish myself with my own family. That way I will not have to worry about being left alone. Of course, it will not come easy. First of all, I will need to have a stable profession with sufficient income. At this moment, I am preparing to become a public school teacher upon my graduation. The competition for the job is fierce, and my odds are pretty low. Yet, I will do the very best to the last minute as it is the first step to achieving my greatest hope.


Last edited by Jason Renshaw on Sat Mar 22 2008, 20:48; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Subject)
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Post  Inkab Wed Mar 19 2008, 20:03

Yes, nothing is compared to the comfort and happiness I'm receiving from my husband and child.
After reading your essay and others too, I feel kind of shame on myself, for I stick to too many unimportant things, not realizing how precious time I've been spending.

The fear of being left alone has seldom overwhelmed me ever since I got married.
It will be the same to you.

I hope you'll have a beautiful wife and a cute child in the nearest future. Wink
your writing skill implys me that you'll pass the test with an excellent score
good luck to you!
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Post  Younghee choi Wed Mar 19 2008, 21:24

I figure you to be a hardworking student.
I'll keep my fingers crossed on your happy and stable future.
I am sure you'll make it eventually.
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Post  Jason Renshaw Thu Mar 20 2008, 06:20

Hi there Jongwoo,

Nice effort on your journal entry here. You certainly express this in a deeply personal (and hence honest) way, and it is quite convincing and moving to read. One of the greatest tools a writer has is his/her ability to draw on experience and relate it to current issues or challenges. You've done that very well in your writing here.

I like the way you express your greatest fear and hope as two sides of the same central issue. I found my own response to the topic to be very similar. However, I did find it quite heart-wrenching to hear about your family situation. The cycle of life has a qay of correcting itself, I think, and I hope you will have faith in the eventuality that you will enjoy your remaining time with your father and create a whole new family. You will cherish that family all the more based on what you have lost earlier in life.


Below you will find some suggestions for language development:

Jongwoo wrote: Question "The most terrible poverty is loneliness, and the feeling of being unloved." said Mother Theresa of Calcutta, and this poverty of being left alone is what I fear most. While it is my deepest fear at this point, ironically enough I used to yearn for it in my earlier days. I did not appreciate the presence and attention of the people around me. Rather, I considered them as obstacles and prayed to be all by myself and enjoy my life the way I want it to be. After all, my prayer has been listened to. It so happened that I lost the people who were close to me one after another. Question Now, the only sibling that I am left with is my dad, and even worse, I cannot get to see him often because of my studies here. The worst and the most dreadful thing that can possibly happen to me would be to lose him.

With such fear residing deep inside me, I am hoping that oneday I will establish myself with my own family. That way I will not have to worry about being left alone. Of course, it will not come easy. First of all, I will need to have a stable profession with sufficient income. At this moment, I am preparing to become a public school teacher upon my graduation. The competition for the job is fierce, and my odds are pretty low. Question Yet, I will do the very best to the last minute as it is the first step to achieving my greatest hope.


Cool "The most terrible poverty is loneliness, and the feeling of being unloved," said Mother Theresa of Calcutta, and it is this poverty of being left alone that I fear most

Cool Now, the only family member that I am left with is my dad [sibling = brothers or sisters only]

Cool Yet, I will do my very best right up to the last minute, as it is the first step to achieving my greatest hope


Overall your grammar and expression are of an exceptional standard! These improvements are minor.

I'm looking forward to reading more of your writing!

Take care,

~ Jason


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OP1: My deepest fear and greatest hope Empty Hello Jong woo

Post  Jung namsook Fri Mar 21 2008, 12:43

As with hardships in life, you could be a better teacher than any others only dedicated to studies. You will be able to share authentic life with your future-students. Although numerous people look very satistisfied with their life and seem to be enjoying themselves, each of us has been facing something serious, unprecidended incidents. That will eventually lead to being a little more understanding to our neighbors.

I believe you have more advantages because you must have gone through worries of most of teenagers. Who else could give some good advice to your learners with all their heart? I think you are the one.
My faith is that teachers should have plenty of experiences as well as much knowledge. There are many intelligent teachers in schools, however, there are fewer ones to read student's mind. I hope you would be the right one.

Take care,

Namsook
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Post  Ko, Min-Jung Fri Mar 21 2008, 19:25

I'm certain that all your hope will come true sooner of later. I don't know you well, but as far as I know, you are a very brilliant and sincere man. Also, I believe, when we've experienced something lacking, we try more and get even better one for want of it. May I pray for your bright future?
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Post  Sera Jung Fri Mar 28 2008, 07:13

At the begining of the paragraph, the quotation of Mother Theresa of Calcutta's saying is impressed for me. The feeling of losing someone valuable for me will be great fear. I also feel afraid of that stiuation .
As I know you are so briliant and hard woker, There's no doubt your hope will come true someday.
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