Journal Entry 4

Hi Younghee,

This is a good journal entry, and a very good example of a basic compare/contrast essay.

The role of the Internet (note capital 'I') is very interesting in education, and I think you're right to point out the strengths as well as the potential drawbacks.

One thing in your writing that really struck me was the excellent use of transitions and the way you create well-weighed sentences that come across both clearly and elegantly. You clearly have some writing talent!

To reinforce your points in an essay of this nature, it is always useful to rationalize and drive them home through the employment of realistic examples. You've outlined general ideas and concepts well, but I think readers would benefit hearing about real-world examples and applications to make better sense of what you are saying (and to be more persuaded by your opinion). One way to do this is to look over some of your comments and ask yourself "how?". Another way is to quote real-world news stories that report actual occurences to back up your point. I know this is time-consuming, and it does not really detract from what you've produced here. It's just a suggestion to help you take your already excellent writing ability to the next level, and will certainly help in making your assertions and conclusions more compelling to a reader.

Younghee choi wrote:Merits and demerits of using the internet as an educational tool

21st century is called information age since the rapid internet spread makes it possible to get instant access to all information. Thus, the internet has become an indispensable element in modern society. In this regard, it is necessary to take advantage of the internet for the growing generation called N generation. Although there are a number of merits in using the internet as an educational tool, it poses some problems as well.

The internet has plenty of advantages. It provides us with a lot of information and help learners to develop skills such as self-driven study ability, creativity, and problem solving ability. Based on that, learners can carry out their tasks actively and take the initiative in solving problems by obtaining and processing the information available. On top of that, the internet can also foster individualized learning through the collaboration and interactions with peers and teachers.

Despite the strength of the internet, students can be susceptible to the addiction of computer games while they are online. This can have a negative impact on their psychological and physical development. In addition, since students lack powers of judgment they can be easily exposed to the detrimental websites such as obscene or suicide websites, which may result in their imitation of problematic behaviors and the delinquency in adolescents. Plus, they are liable to do irresponsible behaviors by using anonymity.

In conclusion, the use of the internet for education is unavoidable since every field of society is centered around the internet. Therefore, it is significant to make the best use of the internet while making up for the weak points of the internet. In order to promote the proper use of the internet, we should incorporate ethical education regarding the internet etiquette.

Keep up the excellent efforts, Younghee. You're progressing like a bullet train on the composition rail network!

Best wishes,

~ Jason


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I'm always surprised at your concerns related to ecducational topics, such as corporal punishment and now Internet as a tool of education. It makes me reflect on myself too. Thank you, younghee!