OP1: Fear and Hope

What a hard-working person you are!
I believe they will understand you.

Dear Heeyoung

How are you? I'm a bit tired 'cause I was crammed for Eng. composition assignment. I would really like to be an early bird like you. I won't be so lazy that I could try to finish my work in the day time. I'm afraid that I seemingly enjoy the silent night time. I know that how it will be ineffective.

I want to be more effective person like you. I bet you are definitely a adorable mom.

love,

Namsook

Don't blame yourself anymore. The fact that you are sorry for your son and family already makes you a good mother. They will understand you and will be proud of you as a working mother.

I really enjoyed reading your long~ essay.
very pleasant essay!

Sorry, but I don't think you should worry about being selfish, since you're doing all of these for your
lovely family. Isn't that right?

I'm anxious to know who you are, so I can get some information about raising a cute child!
hope to see you in class.
I'm probably the oldest sitting on the window seat, right first from the last.

Hi there and thanks a lot of your essay.

This is very well written and is a good example of writing from the heart that still exhibits control and organization to help a reader negotiate the themes explored and thoughts expressed. Your writing is quite impressive.

Just personally, I found your fears and hopes very easy to relate to. I have especial sympathy for Korean ladies like yourself in this sort of family + work + study dilemma. I don't know if others can actually understand the sacrifices involved for Korean women who try their best at being a wife and mother as well as a person determined to develop themselves academically or professionally.


Below you'll find some suggestions for your language development:

Young wrote:

Fear and Hope

All of us have both fear and hope at the same time. These two concepts can be opposite ideas such as happy and sad. In addition, these concepts can be abstract or practical. Fear is what one has to get over, and hope is what one wants to achieve. In my opinion, one can accomplish one’s hope by trying to overcome one’s fear. For me, my deepest fear and my greatest hope are related to family because I have realized family is precious and the source of happiness.

First, my fear is getting more selfish. There are lots of things for married women to sacrifice. So far, I do not think I have sacrificed much. It does not mean that I insist only wives should sacrifice themselves. Rather, I would like to say a mother plays a very important role in the family. To manage things for family- cleaning, cooking, taking care of children, visiting relatives, and so on, wives are forced to give up doing what they like.

Honestly, I can not tell I have managed my family well. My priority is focused on myself- studying and working. I have usually left my son to my husband and my mother-in-law to do my jobs that give me a sense of achievement. Since I have been so busy, I have not had enough time to spend with family and to have contact with my son’s eyes. One day, however, I came to think that for what I was doing these things and what true happiness was. Then, I realized it was necessary for me to change something for my family. I have been selfish, and I worry about getting more selfish now.

Next, my greatest hope is to keep a happy family. As I mentioned, my deepest fear is becoming more selfish. I like to learn and challenge. However, the problem is studying requires more studying and achieving leads to set another goal. That is a sort of never ending story. Therefore, I am seriously considering changing my life-style for my family after finishing my second university life: either reducing working or giving up further studying.

My son is 5 years old. 5-year-old age is very critical period for children, and he needs his mom’s wholehearted care. During school days, I usually go to school in the morning and get home late evening (sometimes at night). While I am home, I spend most time on taking a rest, cooking, and doing assignments. As I work even on weekends, I can not share them with my son even though I have many things and ideas that I want to give. Especially, I want to share things that might be just normal to others with my family: traveling, having meals cooked by me together, just talking each other, and reading books with my son.

To conclude, both my fear and my hope are related to my family. My fear that is worrying about getting more selfish can be solved by my hope that is trying to keep a happy family. To make my hope come true, I will have to balance between doing what I like and managing family by reducing either working or studying and spending good quality time with family.

First of all, I fear becoming more selfish

Honestly, I cannot say that I have managed my family well

I like to learn and challenge myself [OR be challenged, OR experience challenges]


The errors are not serious ones and overall you have a very high standard of written English.

Best of luck for your future writing efforts!

~ Jason


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You have been steadily conscious of your family. That means you are not too selfish. The truly selfish person don't know he is selfish. Don't worry you would be more selfish than now. I bet you won't be. Because you are trying not to be that kind of person, like this way.

Your son is very cute! In the picture uploaded as your avator, I can't see that your son considers your treatment unfair. Maybe he is proud of his mother living for dream, not resting on present.

After reading your writing , I have come to think of that it will be nice to ne a mother and wife.There will be many things to do as mother such as taking care of children ,doing house holds, giving emotional support and so on. But it sounds very attractive and precious. The worries you have in your mind mean that you have alreadly become a nice mon .