Journal 5 My little cub

Journal 5> My little cub



Before we get married, we use to say it would be okay just living without a baby as long as we can enjoy our lives with other exciting elements. However, this assumption proved to be premature. The pleasure we have been given by our boy is what we've never expected before and it can not be compared to any other things in the world.

My boy is 20 months old now. His name is Gwan-yu. We tried to name him an easy one but all the names recommended were kind of hard to pronounce, so he probably will have to repeat his name to make people figure it out clearly. Poor boy! like myself. I can not forget the moment I first saw him, the strange smell, the ruddy, tiny thing, under the such pain and fear I just fell in love with him at first sight. Raising a child is not an easy task as unexperienced people imagine. To feed him, I had to wake up every two hours during the night almost for six months. I think that period was the toughest time even though my mom kept saying it was only the beginning of my thorny path of being a mom, which I strongly refuse to believe.

When he began to stare at my eyes and pretended he recognized me as his mommy, I felt my heart was filled with joy and happiness. At the same time, I can estimate how much sorrow those moms whose children are suffering from autism have to endure. I heard the children having autism seldom look at others' eyes and hardly show their emotion and responses. I appreciated my boy could listen to me and responded to my voice with such smiles. I also thank that his personality is just like other normal children. It looks impressing when he tries to help his grandma carrying a big laundry basket and shakes clothes to spread all winkles as his grandma does. Of course it is not that helpful, rather disturbing, but it is funny to see him struggle carrying much bigger basket than himself and handing over clothes out of the window.

Nowadays, He speaks 2 words, like mommy's car and daddy's car. My sister sometimes teases me for this saying that people might misunderstand we have two cars in our house. In fact, we have only one car, and he seems always fair and balanced in giving out his interest to mommy and daddy. It is also funny to see him dancing following the rhythm he learned from a culture center, and being picky in choosing right CDs for each dance. He might want to be a dancer in a future. I have no specific hope for him, but it will be nice if he becomes a professional in whatever field he can fully enjoy himself.

My boy is sleeping with his father now. His father is very good at putting him to sleep. However, before he goes to bed, we at least have to read him around 10 books with exaggerated sound and actions. It makes us get tired more than our energetic son. While my boy keeps climbing up and down the bed, I sometimes hear his daddy snoring slightly, which means he failed to sleep him. But today it worked so successful. Then I am so happy: Happy to have my own time, and happy to have my little cub.

A heart-warming story about your son!
I can imagine vividly how your son behaves and how cute he is!
It is said that a baby is not the one who belongs to his mom but a gift from the heaven and should be treated as such.
I could see how much you love him and how much you're sacrificing yourself for him.
I strongly believe every mother is great!

I'm always impressed with your apparent details and examples. Jason said that we need to be more critical replier but I have nothing but a full compliment of your wonderful writing all the time. How can you exactly describle and represent what you are feeling? That must be from your deep insight and extensive knowledge of your English. I really appreciate sharing this class with you. Bye!

I am always happy to see moms who are happy with their childern like you and me. I also never expected the pleasure childern can give. To be honest, just nowadays, I have time to feel the pleasure from my son. I really had hard time to take care of my son last 4 years with ,many reasons. I was exhausted. I changed a lot because of my son both positively and negatively. I used to like children so much when without my own kids. However, I only like my son now. I mean there is no spare energy to see others. Now I am a mom like a witch, who scolds and says "Don't do this and Do that.", but I will try to be more tender Mommy.

I can feel your happiness vividly through your journal. When I see happy family with cute baby, I want to marry early. However, I'm afraid that I might be losing myself after having baby. I looked oftenly ,moms usually sacrifice oneself for their baby.