OP1: My deepest fear and greatest hope.

I fear about my future. I think every young person has same problem. I'm senior. Most of my friends already graduated from university. Some have a steady job. One of my friends already works in hospital as a nurse. When we meet, She always gave me present. Because she makes money.

Also one of my friends passed teachers entrance exam. I envy her. I hope I will be great teacher. I learned so much during the practicum. I experienced both good things and bad things. Although what I did was only briefly taste school society, it gave me a lot of invaluable lessons. I also had to painfully face the question if I really want to be a teacher. Besides, I came to realize that I must be more prepared. I got a lot of things through teaching practicum and I felt I have to learn much more and prepare hard for being a good teacher.

I will probably have hard time juggling two things at the same time: taking lots of course and preparing for the teacher's exam. Actually I already feel nervous. It's not a good news that I have a lot of assignments to complete each week. It's also a good news, however, that lots of course seems to be closely related to our exam so I can make great use of it. Although it won't be that easy to work on my course, my sweat, efforts, passion will be paid off in the end.

You don't have to feel that you are behind others. I attended a college a year later than my friends, and graduated 2 years later than them. Looking back those years I was also a little anxious like you, but eventually I could get a good job and meet good people. The important thing in your life is not how fast you are going, but where you are going and whether your enjoy your work or not. As soon as you compare yourself with others, you begin to fall behind them. You know.. .the famous saying... Carpe diem!

I am looking forward to doing a teaching practicum soon. I am also nervous and worried to be under the pressure due to the heavy load from the practicum.
From your writing, I can get some ideas about how it will work out. I am positive that I will learn from it a lot as well.

Take it easy, you'll do a great job. It's hard to manage two things at the same time; however, your effort will surely be rewarded later on. I hope you achieve what you really want in the near future.

oops, this is the second time I write down the comment on your essay.
For some reason, it's gone. Maybe I forgot to press 'send'
Let's tace back in memory.... I said, you were the first person I got acquainted in the class and I am so happy to have you in other classes too. I also said, One more year might be nothing if it can substantially change your future.

Anyway, when you feel so hard to do all the things, just think about me, a woman in her thirties, yet doesn't have a job, and still is working on it. haha.
Good luck to you.

Hi Hyun-a,

Thanks for composing your response to the topic. It was interesting to read about your feelings regarding a career as a teacher, the practicum experience and trepidation about the teacher's exam.

Your writing is generally well put-together and shows some thought and organization. You've certainly expressed your personal feelings in response to the topic, and shown some good use of English. I can see some good initial attempts at paragraphing as well, so that's a positive sign.

Reading this, it feels like you've somewhat blended the ideas of fear and hope in your response. Generally speaking that is okay in a personal response, but the result is that you haven't really addressed or explored the two key concepts in the topic (deepest fear and greatest hope) in an organized, balanced and focused way. The 'fear' is treated very generally as an introduction to your hope, which is then described in detail. Based on that, I think you need to concentrate on giving equal weight and attention to both aspects in a topic like this in the future.


Below you'll find some suggestions related to language development:

Hyun a Ji wrote:I fear about my future. I think every young person has same problem. I'm senior. Most of my friends already graduated from university. Some have a steady job. One of my friends already works in hospital as a nurse. When we meet, She always gave me present. Because she makes money.

Also one of my friends passed teachers entrance exam. I envy her. I hope I will be great teacher. I learned so much during the practicum. I experienced both good things and bad things. Although what I did was only briefly taste school society, it gave me a lot of invaluable lessons. I also had to painfully face the question if I really want to be a teacher. Besides, I came to realize that I must be more prepared. I got a lot of things through teaching practicum and I felt I have to learn much more and prepare hard for being a good teacher.

I will probably have hard time juggling two things at the same time: taking lots of course and preparing for the teacher's exam. Actually I already feel nervous. It's not a good news that I have a lot of assignments to complete each week. It's also a good news, however, that lots of course seems to be closely related to our exam so I can make great use of it. Although it won't be that easy to work on my course, my sweat, efforts, passion will be paid off in the end.

When we meet, she always gave me present. That's because she makes money.

Also, one of my friends passed the teachers' entrance exam

It's never good news when I realize I have a lot of assignments to complete each week


Generally speaking, your written expression is of a high standard. It won't be hard for you to progress to an impressive level!

Regards,

~ Jason


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