Write about your deepest fear and your greatest hope

Your hope is so great!!
Good for you. If I were not married or didn't have any kids, I could dream to go that kind of places for volunteer work.
Hopefully, you can go to Ethiopia.

What you have done for Ethiopian girl moved me. You really have warm heart.
I also encourage you to make your wish comes true as soon as possible.

Hello,

Nice to meet you in here.

I think you are so lucky. I envy all of your grand parents are living. Before I was born, My grandfather was gone. I just saw his face as a picture.

Also I'm so moved about your hope. I hope you will go to Ethiopia.

What a touching story you've got!
I think everybody has a tender and compassionate heart to help people in need, but it is hard to put that into practice. You are living up to actions indeed!
I hope all your plans will work out well.

You have so wonderful plans! It is amazing and your experiences will bring lots of pricess lessons , I think.
I sincerely hope your plan will come true.

Hi Eunsil,

Thanks for getting a post up here in response to the topic of fear and hope. Make sure you respond more promptly next time, or you may miss out on getting feedback from your teacher...

Overall, a good response. Your fear is one that resonates with several other classmates (based on the other responses I have read), and your hope is rather noble and inspiring.

In a written response, you don't really need to announce that it was a homework task or repeat the main question/topic again. That should be obvious from the title of your writing and the content of your actual response.

I think you did a good job of introducing the topic and presenting ideas relevant to fear and hope in two separate paragraphs. It might have been nice to see a conclusion at the end to wrap up your ideas and leave the reader with some sort of unified thought.

Below you'll see some suggestions relevant to language development:

Eunsil wrote:My English Composition homework is writing of my deepest fear and my greatest hope. That subject made me think about myself deeply. Answering about the second question "hope" was not difficult, because I thought often about my desire or future plan. I have things that I fell not comfortable like awkward silence, clumsy excuse or I feel kind of shy to be seen in public. But this thinks are not what I’m fear of that are what I don’t like.

After thinking a while I could think of one fear. I have never lost someone in my family. Lucky, all of my grand parents are living, so I never went to a funeral. Sometimes when I had indirect experience like my friends lost their family members. When I experienced such things, I got fear of unprecedented things. People cannot predict the future. I cannot believe that someday it will happen to me, because I cannot think living without my family, it will be so sorrowful.

By the way, my life plan is run-of-the-mill. Marrying someday and have a secure job that I can really enjoy. But my biggest hope that I dreamed from my childhood is going someday as a missionary to Ethiopia, Africa. Africa has always been a mysterious and interesting continent to me. After hearing sad news from my African friends, my hope to go to Africa grew. I especially want to Ethiopia, because I support a small girl there by sending $30 per month and by writing the letters. It would be so nice, if I could meet her and spend time with her face to face.

There are some things that I feel uncomfortable about, like awkward silence, making clumsy excuses or feeling kind of shy to be seen in public

After some thought I was able to come up with one particular fear

I want to marry someday and have a secure job that I can really enjoy


I hope those tips help you out and best of luck for your future writing efforts.

Take care,

~ Jason


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