OP2: A teacher who inspired me

When I bring my past teachers to mind, I always remember one teacher for the first time. It wasn't long time but the teacher had a great influence on me.

She was my reading teacher when I was elementary school student. She visited my house once a week. Our lesson was very simple. She gave me a book and asked me to write my impression of it after read it. Next week, we talked about the book and she took my impression of it. She returned it with her memo after a week. sometimes we imagined other ending of the novel or even created my own novel.

At the very first time I red and wrote just with sense of duty. However I gradually became more willing to read and write. Thanks to her, I found it fun. When we talked about the book, she always respected my point of view. She didn't demand that I (or she) should accept just a 'standard' point of view.
So I could say what I feel free without being afraid of making mistake. She also gave me attentive memo about impression of book. Through this I can find my frequent error. She also didn't forget give praise every time. So I can get confidence.

After that lesson, I feel book friendly. So I really appreciate her. Although I couldn't keep in touch with her, sometimes I wonder her news.

S

The feedback from your reading teacher seems to motivate you to be interested in books. I also liked getting feedback from my teachers because I felt they were paying attention to my academic development constantly.
I can sense from your writing how important it is to have a meaningful interaction with students.

Reading your essay, I found students should be given more space for creative thinking and that creativity ultimately lead them to get involved in enthusiastic studying. And also your essay hits to me that I have to be very careful in choosing a reading tutor for my son in the future! Thanks!

You got a qualified reading teacher. Guiding one's creative ideas to come out of mind sounds very difficult. Respecting students' point of view can encourage students to try hard. I think as you were a good follower, you had a good teacher. Actually, a good student makes a good teacher.

Your teacher did not force you to read and write.
It's essential for teacher!

It is necessary when teaching young students to not force them to read and write.

----------------------------------------------------

I make a mistake
Thanks for Jason! I try to write more carefully.

Hi Ji-hye,

Very good work with this topic, I think you've done really well and produced a nice little piece of polished writing. The teacher you describe sounds very impressive, and it was very interesting to hear about how she inspired a sense of enjoyment and confidence in you when it came to reading. Personally, I think a love of reading is one of the greatest gifts any teacher (or parent, for that matter) can pass on to young people.

Let me say at this point, Ji hye, that I am really happy and proud to see how rapidly your writing ability is developing. You couldn't write this clearly or with such great organization when you started this course... You are progressing in leaps and bounds, and I am really excited about the prospect of seeing what you can do by the end of the term. I have high hopes for you!

What makes this essay good (in addition to some good and effective expression) is the clear introduction, a body paragraph dedicated to describing your teacher (hence creating a realistic contextual background for your reader) and then the logical progression for your reasoning behind finding the teacher inspiring. I would have liked to see a more inspiring conclusion, but what you have done here is enough to effectively tie together the parts of your essay in a finishing touch.


Below you will find some suggestions for your language development:

Ji hye Lim wrote:When I bring my past teachers to mind, I always remember one teacher for the first time. It wasn't long time but the teacher had a great influence on me.

She was my reading teacher when I was elementary school student. She visited my house once a week. Our lesson was very simple. She gave me a book and asked me to write my impression of book after read a book. Next week, we talked about the book and she took my impression of book. She returned it with her memo after a week. sometimes we imagined other ending of the novel or even created my own novel.

At the very first time I red and wrote just with sense of duty. However I gradually willing to read and write. Thanks to her, I found it fun. When we talked about the book, she always respected my point of view. She didn't demand to accept standard point of view. So I could say what I feel free without being afraid of making mistake. She also gave me attentive memo about impression of book. Through this I can find my frequent error. She also didn't forget give praise every time. So I can get confidence.

After that lesson, I feel book friendly. So I really appreciate her. Although I couldn't keep in touch with her, sometimes I wonder her news.

She gave me a book and asked me to write my impressions after reading it [Note: Use pronouns to avoid repetition and redundancy - your original sentence here used the word 'book' three times in rapid succession!]

However, I gradually became more willing to read and write (in a more involved way)

She didn't demand that I (or she) should accept just a 'standard' point of view

Great work, Jihye, and please keep on doing as you are doing now. You are showing excellent progress!

See you in class soon,

~ Jason


***

HyejinJeon wrote:Your teacher did not force you to read and write.
It is necessary in teaching young students.

Hi Hyejin,

Thanks so much for giving some feedback to Ji hye in response to her writing.

I was, however, a little confused when I read your comment. Did you mean:

a) It is necessary when teaching young students to not force them to read and write?

or

b) Her teacher did not force her to read or write, but it is necessary to force them to do these things when teaching young students?

I am guessing you meant (a), but from your writing here it is possible that (b) could be the meaning understood by a reader.

Could you clarify that one for us?

Thanks!

~ Jason


***

HyejinJeon wrote:Your teacher did not force you to read and write.
It's essential for teacher!

It is necessary when teaching young students to not force them to read and write.

----------------------------------------------------

I make a mistake
Thanks for Jason! I try to write more carefully.

Please Hyejin - there is no need at all to apologize. I'm just happy your meaning is now clearer for Ji Hye to think about. Don't let it stop you from responding to others' writing - this is all a learning process, right?

You have given very insightful and genuine feedback to so many others in this class. I am extremely proud (and very conscious) of your efforts, and I think your classmates are very fortunate to get your comments.

You have all the signs of a great writer and really nice student/classmate. Thank you so much.

Best,

~ Jason

I didn't know about reading teacher.
You are lucky because you had reading teacher.
I think teacher is very important to children.

Your reading teacher must help you more familiar with books. Actually, reading books enrich your life to fully extent. I used to read a lot when I was in middle and high school but these days I come up with so many excuses having no time for reading. I assumed that you're a creative and thoughtful girl thanks to your good habit.

-Jueun

Teachers play a very important role in students' lives, don't they?
Good to hear tha thanks to the teacher's good guidance, you became a reader for pleasure.